Through Broken Memories
by loverofqueens
Summary: AU - Emma nervously returns to Storybrooke after spending the past couple of years away at University. While Storybrooke has remained very much the same there's a new addition to her family, which Emma fears will push her out and after a painful end to the relationship with the love of her, Emma's not certain if she's ready to face Regina again.
1. Chapter 1

Emma Swan gripped the steering wheel as she approached the upcoming green and white of the approaching Storybrooke sign. The sun beat down on the back of her yellow bug as she slowed approaching it, not sure whether or not she was truly ready to cross over town line and get back to the town she had been away from for the past five years and she hadn't exactly left it happy. Left for good reasons yes, to attend a college that would help her further her love of art, even if it did happen to be on the other side of the country. But the leaving part had been the hardest, and even thinking about it now made her want to turn around and drive to any other possible place that wasn't Storybrooke and that didn't have its ghosts.

She accelerated as she finally got to sign, hoping that it would be enough to push her finally over the edge, if she could she would have squeezed her eyes shut but he didn't want to run into the welcome to Storybrooke sign …. _Again_. She had spent a good chunk of money getting it repaired and had to spend some time in the hospital but she had had Re- _no no she wasn't going to go down that road._ It would only be worse. She couldn't even imagine what it would be like seeing her again, if it would bring everything back, though if she was being honest it had never left. Countless girlfriends, boyfriends, one night stands and yet none of them had ever lasted, none of them had ever filled the void that Regina had left. None of them had ever made her heart feel whole again.

She wasn't even sure why she had agreed to come back, but yet she did. Her foster parents, Mary Margret and David, the people in her life she was most thankful for had finally had their own child and they wanted Emma to come and meet her brother. And she'd agreed because she owed them so much, so so much that sometimes she was worried she would never be able to thank them properly because they saved her. They brought her to Storybrooke when she was fourteen and they gave her a home, a family, everything that she had ever wanted and needed and craved. They had given it to her, they had even helped with paying her college tuition, something she said she would finish paying off now that they had a new baby to worry about.

Though maybe the new baby, baby Neal, was also something, aside from Regina, that was making her anxious to come back to Storybrooke, he was her brother yes even if not by blood and maybe that's what she was worried about. Neal was her parents' blood and she wasn't and now maybe that they had a baby of their own now that they'd forget about the temporary one, her. At the same time she knew that she was being ridiculous, her parents loved her, but still it didn't make her any less nervous.

She hadn't even been back to visit her parents in the five years that she had been away, sure she skyped and texted them a lot when she could but she was just too nervous about coming back to Storybrooke, to coming back to the place that had housed her greatest and her worst memories.

It didn't take long before she pulled up in front of her parents' apartment. Storybrooke was a small town after all, which was both a pro and con. Emma wasn't going to lie, it took her awhile to calm down when she saw the building, she didn't want to go in and confront her past. She took a deep breath, sighed and slammed the door behind her as she got out of the car.

* * *

Mary Margret drew open the white linen curtains when she heard the car roll up, holding Neal in her arms, she looked down and smiled at her little bundle of joy. So amazed that she could have made something as perfect and as adorable as him.

"Ready to meet your sister, my love?" she cooed.

"Emma's here?" David asked, as he walked down the stairs, he had just been up in Emma's old room, making sure that everything was perfect for her arrival. He had to admit he was a little nervous, not as nervous as Mary Margret, but he was. Emma hadn't been home in a long time and as much as he wanted her to spread her wings and find her own way, he missed his daughter and wanted her to come back to Storybrooke for more than just a visit.

"Are we finally going to stop lying to our daughter?" He asked his wife before planting a kiss on his son's forehead.

"We're not lying David, we just aren't telling her something that will hurt her."

"She deserves to know."

"She's the one who told us not to bring up Regina."

Before the argument could proceed any further they heard a knock at the door. David and Mary Margret shared a look. Their daughter had finally come home.

* * *

Emma drew back her hand from the door right before it opened revealing her parents, and her new little brother. She could barely get a greeting in before her father had wrapped his arms around her. While Emma had never really considered herself the hugging type, or the affectionate type – with anyone but Regina, oh god, _Regina_ – she let herself fully relax into his hug. Her own arms coming up around her father. She'd missed him, a lot, and seeing him in person was greater than she could have expected.

"This is your baby brother," Mary Margret said when David finally pulled away from Emma.

Emma smiled, a real smile, as she reached for Neal's hand and let out a small gasp when his hand curled around her finger.

"See? He loves his big sister already," Mary Margret said, her eyes teary. Having her daughter back in front of her was more emotional than she thought it would be, Emma may not have been hers biologically but that didn't change the fact that she was her daughter and she loved her with everything she had.

David took Neal from his wife so that mother and daughter could finally embrace. Emma's arms tightened around her mother as a tear made its way down her face. She was flooded with emotion, her parents, her old apartment and the smells that brought back so many memories. So many memories with Regina, talking, laughing, kissing. She knew it would be difficult to come back and face it all, remember it all, but she didn't truly realize how hard until all the memories were flooding her senses.

"I really missed you guys, like I know we kept in touch but still," Emma said, pulling away from her mother.

"We missed you too Emma, so much and we can only imagine how difficult or weird it must be to be back after so long," Mary Margret said.

Emma smiled, "Yeah, but I wouldn't miss meeting Neal for all the weirdness in the world."

David looked pointedly at Mary Margret, and she narrowed her eyes at him and shook her head slightly. Emma looked between the both of them, she wasn't an idiot, her parents were the most carefree and relaxed people she knew. Tension between them was unusual, and right now the tension in the room was starting to become unbearable.

"What's wrong guys?" Emma asked tentatively, not a hundred percent certain she wanted to know the answer.

"We'll talk with dinner," Mary Margret said, as she walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge scanning its contents for dinner, "actually speaking of dinner. David could you run down to the store and pick up a few things? We're running a bit low and I've been so busy looking after Neal that I haven't had a chance to catch up on the shopping."

"Anything for you, my love," David said, reaching for his jacket on the coat hanger.

"Can I come?" Emma asked, "I think I might feel more settled if I see the town a bit."

Emma wasn't actually certain if seeing more of Storybrooke would help or hurt her, but she had friends and other people she knew and loved here besides Regina and it would be good to see them. California had been fun and she had met a lot of good and interesting people there but it still never felt like home the way Storybrooke did and Emma was doubtful anything would feel like home besides Storybrooke. She had grown up in so many different places, so many different foster homes before David and Mary Margret had taken her in. And maybe that's why she was so hesitant to return, feeling like she didn't have a home was more natural to her than feeling like she did and with everything that had happened before she left Storybrooke she didn't even know if it would feel like home anymore.

"Of course, I'll be glad to have the company," David said, as he put his arm around Emma's back and they walked out the door.

* * *

The store wasn't too far from home, and they didn't have a lot to get so they decided to walk there. At first they kept the conversation simple, California and how the very long drive up to Storybrooke was. Emma's mind was still on earlier however, she couldn't stop thinking about what her parents weren't telling her. Her mother could ever keep secrets and neither of them liked to lie to her so it must have been something pretty big.

"What are you guys hiding from me?" Emma asked suddenly, unable to keep the question in any longer, she had always been pretty impatient.

David looked at her, then towards the ground and then back at her again before sighing and running his hand through his hair. He didn't know what to say, he wanted to respect Mary Margret's wishes but he also wanted to give his daughter the truth, or rather the knowledge, that she so rightfully deserved.

"Emma, as much as I want to tell you, believe me I do. Right here, right now isn't the right place for it. A less public area would be a lot better, where you're surrounded by people who care about you such as your mother and myself."

Emma kicked the pebble in front of her into the road, she knew it would be unreasonable to whine, gods she wasn't a toddler anymore, but she hated not knowing, she hated feeling like the people she loved most were keeping something from her. A million thoughts raced through her head, but she said none of them, it would only end up causing a fight and that was the last thing she wanted.

"I know you're upset with that answer Emma," David said, desperately searching for something to say that might at least tide Emma over until dinner tonight, but he was drawing a blank. He could only imagine what it felt like to be in her position right now. "But I promise you, we'll explain everything to you later."

"You better have a damn good explanation for keeping something from me this long," Emma said, pulling open the door to the shop and getting a blast of cold air, before stepping inside. She had barely stepped in the door before she realized how little anything had changed, in fact the shop was almost exactly as she had left it. She wondered if anything had changed in her absence from Storybrooke, besides her being absent from Storybrooke

"It hasn't changed at all," Emma said softly. She wasn't sure why she was so shocked, Storybrooke was Storybrooke, a small town, she doubt it changed much in the past fifty years much less the last five. She knew that she wasn't such a huge part of Storybrooke that it would crumble after she left, she was just the sheriff's daughter, but so much had changed for her that it just felt strange that this part of the world hadn't changed in the slightest.

"Which is great because it means that you can take half of this list because you can remember where everything is, and save your father some time," David said chuckling, before grabbing a basket and heading off to get his half of the grocery list completed.

Emma grabbed her own basket before going off in search of pasta, it was in aisle seven if she remembered correctly. Her boots slapped against the dark wooden floors as she made her way there, already settling back into the familiarity of this place. She'd have to ask to parents if they wanted to go out to lunch tomorrow at Granny's because gods she had missed that woman's cooking.

It didn't take her long to find what she was looking for but just as she was going to put it in her bag her phone rang, startling her and caused her to drop it. Good going Emma, she thought, she was always such a klutz. She didn't even check to see who it was that had called her, instead going straight for the food. Another example of classic Emma, food over everything. But she soon saw that someone had beaten her to it.

"Thanks," Emma said before looking at the person. When she finally decided to look up her breath caught in her throat, "R-Regina?"

Regina's eyes narrowed slightly as she looked the blonde up and down, as if she was trying to place her, "I'm sorry, do I know you?"

Emma's heart dropped.

* * *

Hey guys, I really hope you enjoyed this first chapter or that maybe it piqued your interest. I know it left off at a cliffhanger and you may be confused but I promise answers are coming :)

-Abbie

xoxo


	2. Chapter 2

Hey Guys! First of all I am so unbelievably sorry for how long it took me to get this second chapter out but my personal life has been pretty hectic but its starting to calm down a little so I'm hoping that I'll be able to update more frequently.

* * *

 _Emma could still remember the first time she saw Regina, and she meant really saw her. It was one thing to look at or glance at a person but it was a truly a different thing to actually see them, not seeing their physical appearance, but something much greater. Seeing their soul._

 _Emma had seen Regina before this moment, obviously, Storybrooke was an exceptionally small town and with Regina being the mayor's daughter, well, she was practically royalty, and she acted like it too. Her group, herself, Kathryn and Mal were practically the most popular girls in school and Emma stayed far away from them. In the past she had never really spent too much time at any one school to understand the social workings of each but she knew that interacting with the more popular girls was off limits unless you were invited. Either way she didn't really care, she preferred to stay out of the whole social hierarchy thing, she didn't have the time or the energy to get involved with gossip, who was dating who, who did what etc etc. She and her best friend, Ruby, had preferred to stay on the outside, it had definitely made high school easier for them._

 _Either way before eleventh grade Emma had never really had an interaction with Regina. Sure she'd seen her and her friends sitting in the centre table at lunch every day giggling and gossiping, probably tearing down others, but she'd never actually talked to her. It wasn't like Regina had made an effort to speak to Emma either, she was that weird girl who came in halfway through middle school and by that time everyone already knew each other and she was an outlier. Thank god Ruby had decided to take her under her wing._

 _It was the first day of school, Emma was feeling pretty indifferent about starting eleventh grade, maybe a little scared if she was being honest, she knew that she didn't have much longer left in high school and then she'd have to start thinking about her future and honestly she'd never really given it much thought, in fact for most of her younger years she never really thought she would have a future._

 _The day had been going pretty regularly, she and Ruby had a couple classes together so that was nice, until she walked into her biology class anyway. Mr. Glass was partnering people up left and right, not really caring about who wanted to be partners with who and by the time she had reached the class everybody had had a partner and she was alone, what a surprise._

 _Mr Glass peered at her from over the top of his glasses, "Ah Emma, you can take the table at the back and since we're just missing one more student, she can be your partner."_

 _Emma just nodded her head, as a form of response, not bothering to ask who the other student was, before heading to the back of the class and slinging her bag across the top of the lab table. She took out her books and started doodling in the margin until Regina Mills burst into the room, looking slightly out of breath with her hair up in a messy ponytail. It was the first time that Emma had seen her look not perfectly put together and honestly Emma was taken back by how gorgeous she suddenly looked in that moment. Not that she hadn't thought that Regina was attractive before, because god damn she was, but today was different, today she looked like an actual human being instead of some ethereal being but yet looking more beautiful than she ever had. Emma suddenly realized that maybe it was her humanity, her flawed humanity that made her appear more gorgeous and maybe beauty without flaws wasn't really true beauty at all._

 _In fact Emma was so distracted by Regina that she hadn't even noticed that the brunette had walked right up to her and sat in the seat beside her. She was only pulled out from her daze when she noticed Regina looking quizzically at her._

 _"_ _Sorry what?" Emma asked, realizing that Regina had just asked her a question, and was now looking at her like she might be mentally stable._

 _"_ _I asked what your name was," Regina said coolly, taking out her own books and writing utensils and putting them down on the lab table and organizing them._

 _"_ _Emma," she replied, not entirely thrilled by Regina's attitude._

 _"_ _Regina."_

 _"_ _I know," Emma said, before realizing what a stupid thing that was to say. Why was she suddenly so nervous, it not like she was intimidated by Regina or anything but when Regina looked in her eyes she could just feel her insides melting and Emma Swan did not get crushes, that was great for Ruby but Emma greatly preferred the single life._

 _Regina just offered her a polite smile before turning back to her books and Emma did the same. She wasn't sure if she should try and instigate a conversation or if that would make this more awkward. Eventually she was saved by Mr. Glass launching into a lecture about Ecology that lasted for the rest of the period. She glanced over at the Regina every now and again just to notice that she wasn't paying attention or taking notes and she had her head in her hands._

 _When the bell finally rang, signalling the end of the school, Regina jumped up grabbed her stuff and rushed out of the classroom before Mr. Glass had even dismissed them. He just threw up his hands and shook his head before signalling to the rest of the class that they could also leave. Emma quickly packed up her stuff before racing out into the hall looking for Regina._

 _"_ _Regina!" she called out._

 _Regina turned around to look back her, probably wondering why someone she'd never spoken to before today had suddenly taken an interest in her. Emma watched as she sighed with her whole body before walking over to her._

 _"_ _What?" she snapped._

 _"_ _Jesus I was only going to ask if you were okay, there's no reason to be a bitch," Emma said, wondering why she even bothered to chase after Regina in the first place._

 _Regina was silent for a moment and Emma actually took a moment to study her face, the emptiness her eyes held, the way her body slouched and Emma realized that maybe Regina wasn't the perfect girl she pretended to be._

 _"_ _I'm sorry," Regina replied, Emma was pretty sure it was sincere, "And I am fine."_

 _Both of them knew that was a lie._

 _"_ _Hey, do you um, want the notes we took in Bio today? I noticed you didn't really take any down."_

 _Regina actually gave her a real smile this time, "That would be great, thank you."_

 _The two of them exchanged numbers before parting ways, Emma thinking about how strange it was that she now had Regina's number. She was pretty sure if she told Ruby, she would freak out._

* * *

 _"_ _I can't believe you have Regina's number," Ruby said, serving Emma her fries and grilled cheese sandwich, with extra cheese. "Like she's the hottest girl at our school."_

 _"_ _Relax Rubes, it's just for homework," Emma said biting into her meal. After school she had gone over to Granny's Diner where her best friend Ruby worked, helping out her grandmother after school on weekends, and shared the news of how she was now in possession of Regina's number. "And don't let Belle hear you say that either, I doubt she'd want to know that her girlfriend thinks some other girl is hotter than her."_

 _Ruby just laughed, "Please Emma, both you and Belle know that nobody owns my heart the way Belle does."_

 _"_ _Speaking of Belle," Emma started as door to the diner opened and Belle walked through. Ruby squealed before going over and greeting her girlfriend with a kiss and all Emma could do was keep her tiny smile to herself. She'd never really admit it to herself but she wanted that, what the two of them had, pure love. She was certain that if she'd actually found it she would probably find some way to screw it up or run away from it. That was her speciality after all._

 _The lovebirds eventually joined her, Belle sitting on the stool next to her and Ruby behind the counter. This was often how they found themselves after school, Belle and Emma would do homework and Ruby would serve customers, joining them whenever she could or when the diner was particularly slow._

 _"_ _So Ruby tells me you've got a new study buddy," Belle said, a smile gracing her lips and her gaze flitted between Ruby and Emma before lingering on Ruby._

 _"_ _I'm sure your idea of a study buddy and Ruby's idea is very different," Emma replied, offering Belle a dry._

 _Belle cheeks went red and Ruby just snorted, before serving up Belle a milkshake._

 _"_ _And right now Regina is neither," Emma replied, "I'm just gonna send her some notes. That's all."_

 _"_ _That's always how it starts," Ruby singsonged and Belle reached across the counter to playfully swat her._

 _"_ _Leave her alone," Belle said, "I doubt it will go that far."_

 _Emma glanced down at her food._

 _"_ _Unless," Belle continued, "You want it too?"_

 _"_ _I," Emma began, "Look I barely know her okay? And everything I've heard about her or witnessed just screams UberBitch. But," Ruby and Belle looked at her, urging her on, "I don't know. Out in the corridor when I just looked into her eyes I just saw this depth that I've never seen before or thought she could even have."_

 _"_ _So what are you waiting for Ems? Text her!" Belle said._

 _Emma took a deep breath and reached for her phone._

* * *

"Regina, come on, this isn't funny," Emma said, starting to sweat, she knew it had been awhile but how could the woman in front of her not recognize her? They had once meant everything to each other and if Emma was being honest Regina still did. Seeing her was a shock, obviously, but she had still been able to place Regina easily and it wasn't like Emma had changed this much.

"I'm sorry, after the accident I don't remember much from my teenage years, did we know each other well?" Regina responded.

"A-a-accident?" Emma stuttered, why was this the first she was hearing of this. Suddenly she remembered how her parents had been acting sketchy all morning and not telling her something, she was starting to have an idea about what that something could be.

"I- maybe this isn't the best place to talk about this," Regina said, becoming aware of their surroundings and realizing that the middle of a supermarket wasn't the ideal place to get into a discussion about what had happened to her.

Emma was still in shock. She wasn't having an easy time coming to grips with the fact that the love of her life, the one she thought she'd spend forever with, had no idea who she was. And more importantly had no idea what the two of them had been through together. Regina was staring at her, but she wasn't seeing her, she wasn't seeing all their history and all Emma wanted to do was turn and run and get onto the first flight to California but that was how they had gotten into this mess in the first place.

"Can I get your number?" Regina asked, "Maybe we could meet for coffee and well sort everything out."

Emma nodded, it was the most she could do with all the emotions swirling in her.

"Your name?" Regina asked, not knowing how much a simple question could hurt Emma.

"Emma. Emma Swan."

Regina squinted slightly at her, before taking down her name and her number and then turning away and continuing with her shopping. Emma, however, was still stuck, watching her leave. She turned around, her breathing hard and saw her father, who noticed she'd gone white as a sheet.

"We need to talk," Emma said, anger replacing the hopelessness in her eyes.

* * *

Hope you all enjoyed :)

\- Abbie


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